Sometimes, it's okay to say 'no'.

This may be a controversial one which not everyone will agree with, but it’s something I truly believe & have gone through the learning curve of. I was originally aiming this blog just for photographers but with it recently being mental health awareness week, which really should be every week, it wouldn’t be right to not open it out to everyone & everyday life; as it’s something I believe applies all round.

Lets start simple from a photographers point of view. You have taken the time, money & considerable effort to build a brand aiming at your ideal client audience. If something comes along that doesn’t represent this, or doesn’t suit your brand, it’s totally acceptable to say no. Not only is this beneficial for you, but the perspective client, who may not understand at the time, but they will go on to find someone that is better suited to them & their needs. A lot of people may think ‘a wedding photographer is a wedding photographer’ for example, & those same people think all wedding photographers are, or at least should be, the same price. This couldn’t be further from the truth. A lot of photographers fall into the same bracket of style but each photographer is an individual & has a different approach, editing technique, working schedule etc. So you are investing in them, & likewise they are investing in you - but just in a different way. So if you have a funny feeling in your gut whether you’re the photographer or the client - it’s okay to say no.

Thank you Laura May Photography for this image whilst second shooting.

I am a very open & honest person & not ashamed to admit that there are times in my business wherein I have had to do this, but it took me a while to learn that this was okay. When you are just starting out you want to say yes to everything, which I totally understand & actually think is a good thing as you learn what you like, what suits you & the kind of photographer you want to be. Once you have established this & build up your business then there will be times when you need to be selfish. Whether it’s for your own wellbeing, like myself last year when I was suffering from extreme stress & had to cancel some of my shoots. I had taken too much on, said yes too many times & it resulted in me being unwell. It took this to teach me that sometimes it’s okay to say no, & understand my limits & what I want from my business. This year, I have been a different person. If you don’t start doing this it can become damaging in the long run. This may sound very dramatic, & I know some people, including my Dad, would say “never turn down work”, but as I say, once your business is established, you actually have to sometimes, to help it grow & stick with your brand. All this however is quite rare, as if you have created your brand correctly then the right client will always come to you. This is the same for any business owner! But I have recently had to start thinking of the future of my business & I will be limiting the amount of shoots I do, for example families & engagement shoots (unless one of my wedding couples), as they are not working too well for me & my schedule especially as I now have my own studio. Again, this brings in the point about being selfish & as business owners you need to decide what is feasible.

Bringing this into everyday life, coming from someone who has suffered with stress & anxiety as I have just said - you must learn to put yourself first. I say this to my friends when I can see they’re struggling, because EVERYONE does & it always boils down to them thinking of others or doing things to please others, resulting in stress for them. When all you have to say is ‘no’. Choose to put yourself first & do what makes you happy. Even if it’s something as small as choosing to stay at home in your PJS instead of heading out for lunch, because you need YOU time & haven’t got the energy to go out. We have all been there!

I’m going to end with this quote which ties this all together & says it a lot better than I have & could’ve saved you reading this whole blog…..

“It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to say no to someone you love. It’s okay to say no to a friend. It’s okay to say no to a parent or child. It’s okay to say no to a job or relationship. It’s okay to say no to sexual advances. & it’s okay to say no to a person who’s romantically interested in you. Even if it hurts someones feelings, even if you disappoint people, even if you’re judged & ostracised - it’s okay to say no to anything & anyone that causes you pain or makes you uncomfortable. You’re allowed to put yourself first. You’re allowed to set limits & boundaries. & you deserve to make your happiness & well being a priority. You don’t ever have to settle for something or someone that doesn’t feel right. & you definitely don’t have to compromise yourself for the sake of making other people happy. You have to take care of yourself, & if that means saying no, it’s more than okay.”